A few months ago I was about to meet with someone in their office when I recognized a book on his desk. He saw my glance and asked me if I knew the book.
"That was one of my Mom's favorite books" I answered. "I've never read it but she read it loads of times."
"Why don't you take it?" David suggested. I accepted the offer and it sat in my bag for weeks as I travelled to and from work. I read a few chapters - mostly to be able to report that I had been reading it when David asked. But it's never really fit into my daily pattern to read the book.
As I returned to work from Ethan's graduation, I found my usual pattern disrupted as was on the train and had no Internet connection with which to study the online materials I usually read and memorize in the mornings. So, instead I took the book, Return from Tomorrow out of my bag and began reading.
The book tells the story of a young man who died and saw elements of the life after this one. I am sort of numb to life after death stories after my Mom talked about it all the time. I believe in life after death. I also believe that our spirits separate from our bodies at death and continue to live on this earth. But I wasn't interested in reading a book about it. But my Mom's death softened me a bit on this - she was such a fan of this book that I felt it was likely that what she read here was likely going through her mind when she passed. So I read it thinking of her.
It was a typical life after death story. Man dies, sees his body, travels the world in spirit form getting used to his new predicament, questions his death, comes to acceptance of it. All very interesting stuff but then the story went in a direction that I didn't anticipate. At a point when the man had come to acceptance and was sitting next to his hollow body, the room lightened and he found himself In the presence of Jesus Christ.
From this point on, I was no longer simply reading a book or consuming a story. In some ways, it didn't even feel like I was on the train anymore. It's difficult to write about the experience. I had heard, studied and believed in Christ, His love and power. I have even felt his love on one notable occassion as I served a mission for the LDS Church in Texas almost 15 years ago. Today I felt it again strongly. It was as if I too were experiencing what this man did as he saw the Savior and a felt his overpowering love for him. I felt like I had to pull out of the experience to try to compose myself since I was in public spaces. Had I been alone, I probably would. Have wept openly. I kept reading of how the Savior escorted the man through various places in the spirit world and then I decided it was probably time to get to work. I had already missed my stop and the train had reversed directions - going southbound again. I got off the train and began walking through downtown Salt Lake pondering on what I felt.
It felt like I had been given a gift. I knew better now of the reality of Jesus than I ever had before. After 36 years and various depths of hearing and studing His words, it felt like all fo that came together today with a feeling that it was all real. The very next thought was what that I should do something with this knowledge but I didn't know how. In the book the man found his purpose to be looking for and encouraging Christliake attributes in others. That might be me too.
But one thing is for certain. I know better today then I did yesterday that Jesus is real and his love for me is personal and profound. I need to remember this and find a way to share it with others.
No comments:
Post a Comment