Tam slept over last night in preparation for the funeral this morning and in the business of the morning, I noticed that she was off on her own and silent. I went over to her and hugged her.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for today,” she said. I knew how she felt.
At the Church this morning Dave and I were there when the casket arrived. We wheeled her into the Relief Society room and opened the casket. After a quick glance, Dave said these viewings are morbid and left the room as quickly as he could. Mom looks so much better than she did a week ago. They filled in her previously sunken cheeks and face. Her hair was all done up the way she always liked it and she looked peaceful.
Julie offered a prayer then we all said final goodbyes before the casket was closed. This was a tearful point for all of us. But the day wasn’t over yet.
At the funeral service itself Dave provided a life sketch, Tam a tribute, Julie a Poem, me a video of her life and Jen a talk. A few thoughts struck me during the services:
- Dave mentioned that Mom had been gone for so long that he doesn’t believe Julie and I really knew the real Mom. Before when he’s said this, I think I’ve dismissed it. But I think he’s right. This was emphasized later in the tribute Tam offered. Tam talked about a whole bunch of Mom stuff I never saw.
- Jen gave a great talk in which she made the point of illustrating through Mom’s life the danger of judging too quickly and finding the good in people. What a wonderful point! I later put some thought to this and realized that over the past week, I’ve been seeing new parts of my Mom - good things like her faith and love.
I broke down during my video. (I wish I could post it but I used a copyrighted song and can’t post it to YouTube. I have it in my collection at home if anyone wants to see it.) Several people complimented me on the video.
The pallbearers (Dave, me, Mark, Alex, Richard and Steve) put Mom into the hurse and the company then travelled down to the Provo cemetery for the internment. There I said a few comments and then dedicated the grave. A few thoughts here as well:
- It has been difficult to find meaning and purpose in Mom’s captivity to illness, fear and and pain. But over the last few weeks I’ve realized that all effects of the fall can help lead us to faith in Christ. If all that Mom’s gone through leads her or any of the rest of us to faith in Christ then it’s worth it.
- Christ is the true source of healing, hope, freedom and peace. He provides not only the hope of resurrection but also the hope of meaningful life
- Mom’s grave will be a holy place of peace, healing and hope.
The local ward provided a lunch for the guests of the funeral. This turned out to be quite the celebration. Mom’s memorabilia was spread over the front of the stage and families gathered to laugh and talk and comfort and love each other. I was actually surprised at how good I felt when it was all done. I half expected to be an emotional wreck but I wasn’t. None of us were.
The family was told at several points that the funeral was perfect for Mom. I was certainly glad to hear that and judging by the way all of us kids were interacting with each other and feeling by the end of it, I think I agree.
Perhaps Mom thought so too.
