Kid Justice and Mercy

In the ongoing saga of the messy toy tossaway we had a very rough night. Alicia was relaxing for her night off this week and so I took care of getting all the kids dinner and bedtime chores done. That took me about 2 hours to complete and I warned the kids along the way that I would be tossing things at the end of the night. The end of the night came and the basement was still quite messy. I put crying kids to bed as I filled up a garbage bag with Thomas tracks, hot wheels, legos, a wii nunchuck, craft boxes, stuffed animals, and books.

Both Emily and Ethan were wailing. Ethan was threatening to run away. And they went to bed like that. I felt terrible. I know that they need to learn to be responsible and help out around the house. But this was hard - harder than the last time. I talked with Alicia about it afterwards and we agreed that justice in keeping our rules was necessary but that a little mercy was appropriate as well. So we will still keep the toys put away and we will continue to take things away if they're left out at the end of the evening. But we will offer a way for them to give any five toys back from the garbage bag if they do a chore around the house. Whatever is left over in the bag at the end of a week we'll donate.

Unexpected Awesomeness

This morning the kids asked if we could go on a picnic. My original impulse was to say no since it was raining outside. But then I thought about how we've done picnics in the past simply by putting the backseats down in the van and eating on a blanket. Our family is larger since he last time we did hat but I figured that it would be worth a shot. So after a great morning of service cleaning up the church we packed up a bunch of blankets and got some KFC and drove to one of my favorite places in front of Utah lake. I used to go there frequently when I was single. It's a great thinking spot.

And apparently, it's a great picnic spot too because we had a great time! Emily, Ethan, Jace, Claire and I fit in the back of the van while Alicia and Ben sat in the middle row. We talked together about what we'd want in a new house if we moved, and found out that most of the kids really like sharing rooms.

Then we got out of the car and explored the frozen lake front. We threw rocks to try to break the thin surface layer of ice (that didn't work) then we tried to sneak down the hill the waters edge (That didn't work either. Jace and I slipped in the mud.).

But despite he cramped space, the cold outside, and even a short stint of hail we had to run to escape. His was an awesome little memory with the kids.

Fixing a Melting House

Our house is continually melting into messiness. It seems like the bigger our family gets, the faster it melts too. If Alicia and I want to keep order in the house, we have to keep picking things up and putting them away. That can take all day - really. Alicia and I realized that we can't do this anymore so we started a rule that anything left on the floors at bedtime will be thrown away after the kids go to bed. Two nights ago I did this and a whale toy of Ethan's was thrown away. He found out about it today and wailed in sorrow about the loss of his plastic toy.

I felt bad for him but Alicia and I tried to reexplain to him that we wanted the family to take better care of their things and the house. He didn't seem to get it but I'm hopeful that this will be a good learning experience for him and the rest of the kids. Alicia and I are sticking to this with the hope that it will help.

Putrid Pets

Our animated countertop decoration named Sonic

Emily inherited a fish tank from a friend several weeks ago and despite her parents aversion to pets of any kind, that got her brain spinning about getting a fish of her own. Having a fish is at the bottom of the sinful pets one could have in the home so we allowed it and she got a beta as a birthday gift. Since then, we've had an awful time trying to figure out how to keep the thing going. Reportedly betas are the lowest maintenance fish you can have. You but them in some fresh water, feed them every now and then and boom... instant animated home or office decoration. But unlike other decorations, this one rots after 3-4 days. The water starts to thicken and get foggy and if left for a week, some viscous layer of filth accumulates on the surface of the "water" and the fish food gets clogged up there.

What have we gotten ourselves into?!

We're tried sunlight, darkness, covered tank, uncovered tank, water treatment chemicals, and smaller tanks. Nothing has solved this filth problem. So now, Emily is saving her money to be a new fish tank with a filter to see if that helps. The problem is, she's thinking of going bigger so she can get more fish. Ethan's hopping on the bandwagon too. He'd like to get a fish of his own in the tank.

Before you know it we'll have llamas in the backyard.

Ethan's Reading

We got a note recently from school that informed us that Ethan is being advanced to a more assisted reading program. This came as a shock to Alicia and me. Ethan's been doing so much better in his reading and we thought he was advancing on target but apparently he's falling behind. He's unaware of any feeling of failure in this. All he knows is that he has a new reading teacher and that he'll miss the other lady who helped him. Alicia is also trying to keep a positive attitude. She wrote the following to me in an e-mail.


"Let's not think of it as a bad thing. He is improving but he needs more intensive help. We keep reading with and encouraging him and he'll be alright. We have always known that school wouldn't come naturally to him. He is doing his best. Maybe we as parents need to step it up more."


But still, he's such an awesome kid. It's hard for me to not feel a twinge of sympathy when I consider that he's falling behind.

Our Trailblazer

It's easy to think of growing up milestones like first date, driving, graduation, etc.. But there are some others that are not so conspicuous on the road of life. Emily passed a couple of them today. The first was a presentation today on a county of Utah. She did the presentation of Kane county all by herself (unlike the last one where we helped her a bit). Alicia said she was proud of her for the work she did. The second was a decision she made to stay home alone while the rest of the family came up to Salt Lake to pick me up from work. Emily was comfortable staying home alone, which is a rite of passage in itself, and Alicia was comfortable leaving her there for three hours.

Just like we noticed the little milestones when she was a baby, I suppose we're still conscious of these things the first time we experience them together. In some ways, Em is still our trailblazer and we're proud of the path she's plowing for the rest.

Enduring the Climb

I imagine every day as a mountain that I have to climb. I start the day with good energy - I exercise, get ready, help the kids get ready to school etc. I also have good energy for reflection and learning right at the beginning of the day. I study the scriptures and words of the prophets, pray, then plan out how I can best use the day given to me to further God's work. To polish this reflection time off, I spend a bit of time learning something relevant to the day ahead of me.

So, all of this is preparation for my mountain climb. I've readied my mind, body and I have plotted a course up that mountain. Then I begin. The base of the mountain is usually a pretty great hike. I see great things along the way, I gain altitude and if my planned course needs to correct, I've learned to make flexible course corrections.

Before I know it, the sun is beginning to set. Most days, there is still mountain left to climb - service yet to be given. But I get home and have dinner with the family and my footsteps begin to drag. I start to think more about how tired I am than what I could still do to help. The irony is, the climb is the most rewarding right at the top. And the time I get to spend my my wife and kids is right at the end of the day. That's where views open up and I can be closest to my maker in seeing how far we've come together.

So, I need to find a way to get the good energy of the morning into the evening as well. I'll try again tomorrow.

Lightened Burdens

I'm happy to report that Alicia is doing better in the pregnancy side affects then she was a few weeks ago. She is still quite tired but she today she was able to take care of the kids and the house like usual. She even bragged to me that she got done in one good day what I couldn't do in two weeks of substituting as the boss of the house. Nice. 

As soon as I got home from work, I relieved her of cooking dinner and she went directly to the couch and pretty much stayed there until she went to bed early this evening. She put in a lot of effort today and I am very impressed with her determination and attitude in the face of still not feeling well. I am also impressed with the blessings she is receiving. Several family members and perhaps even local Church people are praying for her and I see evidence of her being able to better handle this challenge and some of the discomfort subsiding.

I told Alicia a few days ago that I believe that someday she'll look at this time and be grateful for things she learned through it. She scoffed at the idea when I shared it but I still believe it's true (Scoff is a light word. I think she had to restrain herself from throwing something at me.).

Flu Round Two

Yep. I'm sick. I've gotten the flu twice this year now. I used be be immune from flu stuff in the past but lately, it's catching up to me. I was down yesterday but I tried to work through it but cleaning the house, helping the kids and doing a few home projects. I felt much worse today than I did yesterday and I think it was my body's way of telling me that I need to slow down when I get sick. So, I did slow down and by the late afternoon, I was finally on the mend.

Luckily, Alicia mended a few days before I did and was able to let me rest today. I'm just hoping that no one else in this house gets sick.

Emily's Birthday and Christensen Christmas Party

Just like last year, we had our Christmas celebration with my extended family after Christmas. And, just like last year, we had it on the 26th. Much of what I said about last year, I still agree with and it shows all signs of becoming a tradition.

Our double-digit (10) birthday girl was playing with cousins most of the time we were there. In fact, most of the kids were like that. We didn't see Ethan and Jace much after we got there. Ben, however, we saw all the time. He hardly left his mother's side. And speaking of his mother, I think she has the flu. She laid on the couch feeling gross all morning and we were all but out the door when she stood up and with tears said that she wouldn't miss Emily's birthday party. So although, she wasn't feeling well and wasn't very lively, it was awesome that she was there.

We sang a few songs like we've done in the past but this
Ben played a few extra notes.

And speaking of the party, we had soups and breads and some birthday cake that was one third frosting and two thirds cake. We sang happy birthday and Emily got a gift card from her grandparents. Kind of textbook for kid birthdays. She loved it.

At the end of the party, we came home to a very, very messy house and crashed. As the night wore on, it was clear that Alicia was getting sicker and I began to feel something queasy as well. I was planning on going back to work tomorrow but now I'm starting to wonder.

Christmas Service

Kind of an odd Christmas in my perspective. Seems scandalous to say such a thing about Christmas day but that's my experience with it just the same.

The kids, however had a good day. They were thrilled with the gifts and were even flexible with adjusted Santa plans around our 9:00 Church schedule. We had stockings first thing in the morning, then went to Church and returned home to open the presents under the tree. Emily's highlight was the newest Zelda game. It was actually a family gift but she liked the story of the last one so much that she's drawn countless characters from it and copied stories, she's even midway through a project to create a book of Zelda. Ethan's highlight was a few lego sets that he got - an alien spaceship and a star wars ship. Jason was thrilled to recieve the Thomas ship play set he asked from Santa. Claire, being the consummate girly girl that she is loves her princess dress ups and her princess pajamas. And Ben has enjoyed this little ball machine thing that has holes for balls in the top, and a winding path down the height of the toy leading to where the ball comes out at the bottom, ready to be picked up and put in the top again.

Alicia and I had a bit of a limited Christmas this year. We thought that we would only have enough money for the kids but some extra cash showed up so we got a few things for each other too. The limited cash pushed us to be a little more creative with our gifts. Alicia got me an awesome comfy blanket and I got her a pregnancy survival kit of coupons she can use for a night off, a craving run (Alicia insists on calling them "wantings" and not cravings.), a day off from work, etc..

So that was all the great part of the day. The oddness came in when Alicia started to get sick this afternoon and I was responsible to take care of the house myself. So I had added responsibility and an attitude that Christmas should be a relaxing day. So I was pretty self-focused through the day and when kids needed things or the house was dirty, those needs were in direct competition with my desire to have a day off. As a result, I ended the day in bad temper with the kids and a VERY messy house. I felt kind of awful.

So I've learned that there are no days off. Even if I'm on vacation, I'm serving. And that's okay. It's as it should be. Every day that I'm granted life on this earth is a day I'm meant to bless other people's lives. I'm much happier when I'm serving anyway - especially on Christmas Day.

Christmas Eve

We had big plans for Chistmas dinner tonight but because Alicia's energy was still gone, I took care of the kids and the house and ran out of time but a big turkey dinner with potatoes, stuffing, etc.. But we still roasted a turkey which turned out to be in the good spot between being rubbery and being dry. That said, I told Alicia that next year I want to go for a higher quality turkey - one that has one of those done timer rocket thingies in it.

They never play this well so we took
a picture of it.

Anyway, we had hot turkey sandwiches smothered in gravy. Alicia had enough energy for the dinner so she enjoyed the meal and so did I but our kids picked at the food on their plates with great suspicion and in the end, didn't eat much. But they did enjoy the egg nog though. I remember hating that when I was a kid (Even now it's a little too thick for my taste. I prefer to thin it out with a bit of ginger ale.) but all of them had at least one glass.

Everyone was in high spirits after the meal so the kids played together without the typical combatting between Jace and Claire (they even held hands at one point!) while Alicia and I cleaned up. Finally, we went downstairs and opened our Christmas Eve presents of pajamas and a family activity. The kids were oddly excited about getting pajamas this year. Maybe that's because they're sick of the ones they have or they are too small for their growing bodies. Ethan has a set of Spongebob pajamas that used to be pants and look more like shorts now. We'll be throwing those out since he got his flannel army ones tonight.

After our traditional pajamas on the couch picture, we watched a new Christmas special DVD together and then got the kids ready for their sleepover in our room next to our Christmas tree.

Everyone is really happy and excited right now. Even Alicia picked up a bit and her usual 3-4 hours of good energy per day was more like 6. I think we're all looking forward to tomorrow.

New iPad

A picture taken with the new iPad

Yesterday I got a new iPad from work. I've been borrowing one for the last month to see if it was a justified tool for my work. I've started reading books from it, studying from it and using it as my primary mode of mobile computing on the bus and on trips to the other office building location. It's been great so I was really excited to have one permanently assigned to me.

I was looking at it the other day and noticing how thin it is. It seems odd that something so small can do so much. Make's me wonder what's next.

In Need of Strengthening

Unlike any previous pregnancy, this one is really taking Alicia off her feet. Seems like about 90% of the day she doesn't have any energy and feels sick. She isn't sleeping well, she feels overwhelmed, and her spirit is low. The other day she asked for a Priesthood blessing which I was happy to provide and am hopeful that she finds support in her relationship with God.

I'm also trying to supplement in helping as much as I can. Over the weekend I did all I could to let her sleep and take care of the kids and house. The local church congregation is helping as well. The other day, a friend of Alicia's who visits from time to time brought the family dinner to take that off of her shoulders. But above all of this, I believe the greatest source of peace and strength is sent from heaven and I'm praying for this blessing on Alicia's behalf.

Jace's Preschool Program

Jace's preschool (the same one that Emily and Ethan attended) does this little Christmas program every year. And every year it's the same, the kids put on little felt collars and hats that make them look like elves and then they sing 10 minute-long songs and on a stage at the Lehi Legacy Center. Then afterwards they hand out candy canes to the participants and their siblings.

It's simple enough that you would think that it gets old but it is so heart-warming to see these 3 and 4 year olds singing Christmas songs in their little costumes. Today I looked at the audience for a few moments instead of the kids on the stage and I saw the beaming smiles of parents. The brightest of all of them was my own wife.

Jace (on the left) saying his line

Jace got to sing like the rest of the kids but he also had a line this year, which he memorized and would rattle off anytime we asked. "Here comes the electric train!" He had a great time.

Elizabeth

I've been saving up this journal entry for several months now and it's finally safe to write it.

Back in May Alicia was feeling like there might be a baby number six coming to our family. She spent about a week fighting that feeling with logic, justification, or whatever else she could throw at it. And finally Alicia and I ended the week attending the Mount Timpanogus Temple. In this reflective setting, this baby feeling kept bubbling up, and she kept fighting it down. Then finally, right at the end of the session of Temple service, she allowed herself to consider "what if." Immediately, a peace filled her thoughts and she felt like we were indeed going to have another baby. But not only that, she felt like the baby would be a girl and her name would be Elizabeth Rose.

When we finished our service, we went out to the car and Alicia proceeded to tell me all of this. Of course I was shocked but I was so impressed with her peace on the topic - which was plainly evident in her countenance that I knew it was right.

For the following six months, Alicia and I have been preparing physically, mentally and financially for this new baby. Our mental and financial resources are already stretched supporting a household and family of 7. This decision is no small thing and each of us have experienced fear and anxiousness at different times. A few weeks ago when the pregnancy test showed positive I went through a good two weeks of worry and doubt until I finally decided to trust that God knew what he was doing.

And now, Alicia is on week six of her pregnancy. She's drained of energy and gets nauseous at nearly anything (too hot, too cold, food smells, sneezes, bending over, tilting her head, blinking too many times in succession, etc.). We've got a good road ahead of us but in the end, we both know that Elizabeth is coming and God wants her with our family. And when God commands, he qualifies. 

So here we go!

Emily's First Visit to the Conference Center

Alicia and Emily attended the First Presidency Christmas Devotional this evening. It was Emily's first time going to an event in the Conference Center. From the looks of the pictures, they had a good time together. Emily said, "I really liked it. It was good."

Festival of Crabbiness

Ethan in a full-body bubble thing at the
Festival of Trees

I think we've had our last family outing to the Festival of Trees ... ever. They rent out this huge convention hall and fill it with trees that have been donated by the community and then sell the trees to individuals and businesses. All proceeds go to benefit a local children's hospital so it's a nice thing for everyone. But all that warm nice stuff doesn't really keep my kids attention as we force our way through thick crowds of people through isle after isle of trees.

Attention has been waning for years but this year was particularly bad. We got through three isles before Alicia and the kids were done then we went to the kids corner to let the kids make some Christmas crafts and play. That lasted for about 30 minutes and the kids started to melt down. I tried to appease them with candy and treats but that didn't work either.

Finally we left the place with Ben screaming, Ethan crying, Emily complaining and my nerves shot. We got everyone in the car as quickly as possible and then drove away.

I have good memories of going to the Festival of Trees with my family. I've been trying to give my family similar memories but it appears that it just isn't the same for them. So, I'll let that one go.

Ben Walking

Ben has finally started walking. But he's doing it on his terms which means that if it doesn't involve either food or his mother there's less than a 15% change he'll do it. Still it's exciting to see him progressing.

Worth Every Penny

Alicia has a very strong kid magnet built inside of her.

I'm so glad that we were able to take this trip this year. Money has been a bit tight lately so there was some question as to whether we would be able to do it but we cashed in some credit card rewards and a bit of cash to supplement and were able to make it happen.

On our way to the bakery

Today's use of those funds included swimming at the hotel pool, a big breakfast provided by the hotel, spongebob marathons (It seems like every time we go to a hotel there's a spongebob marathon going on. Do they do that all the time?), treating the kids to oozy yumminess from a local bakery, a pay per view version of Cars 2 while the little kids had a nap, and an evening in downtown salt lake looking at lights, a new Christmas display machine thing at Deseret Book, a scating rink, and dinner at a mall food court.

We were joined for the last part of the evening by Tam, Mark and Whitley. The kids lit up when they came along. Before that, Emily was dragging her feet but the night brightened up as soon as they saw Markie. It's nice that our kids love those guys so much. It makes for good family time together.

Vacations can be expensive but every time we go (except that one Disneyland trip when Em was a baby) the expanded bank of happy memories of family togetherness has been worth the expense. That is certainly true of this little get-away too.