Kid Justice and Mercy

In the ongoing saga of the messy toy tossaway we had a very rough night. Alicia was relaxing for her night off this week and so I took care of getting all the kids dinner and bedtime chores done. That took me about 2 hours to complete and I warned the kids along the way that I would be tossing things at the end of the night. The end of the night came and the basement was still quite messy. I put crying kids to bed as I filled up a garbage bag with Thomas tracks, hot wheels, legos, a wii nunchuck, craft boxes, stuffed animals, and books.

Both Emily and Ethan were wailing. Ethan was threatening to run away. And they went to bed like that. I felt terrible. I know that they need to learn to be responsible and help out around the house. But this was hard - harder than the last time. I talked with Alicia about it afterwards and we agreed that justice in keeping our rules was necessary but that a little mercy was appropriate as well. So we will still keep the toys put away and we will continue to take things away if they're left out at the end of the evening. But we will offer a way for them to give any five toys back from the garbage bag if they do a chore around the house. Whatever is left over in the bag at the end of a week we'll donate.

Unexpected Awesomeness

This morning the kids asked if we could go on a picnic. My original impulse was to say no since it was raining outside. But then I thought about how we've done picnics in the past simply by putting the backseats down in the van and eating on a blanket. Our family is larger since he last time we did hat but I figured that it would be worth a shot. So after a great morning of service cleaning up the church we packed up a bunch of blankets and got some KFC and drove to one of my favorite places in front of Utah lake. I used to go there frequently when I was single. It's a great thinking spot.

And apparently, it's a great picnic spot too because we had a great time! Emily, Ethan, Jace, Claire and I fit in the back of the van while Alicia and Ben sat in the middle row. We talked together about what we'd want in a new house if we moved, and found out that most of the kids really like sharing rooms.

Then we got out of the car and explored the frozen lake front. We threw rocks to try to break the thin surface layer of ice (that didn't work) then we tried to sneak down the hill the waters edge (That didn't work either. Jace and I slipped in the mud.).

But despite he cramped space, the cold outside, and even a short stint of hail we had to run to escape. His was an awesome little memory with the kids.

Fixing a Melting House

Our house is continually melting into messiness. It seems like the bigger our family gets, the faster it melts too. If Alicia and I want to keep order in the house, we have to keep picking things up and putting them away. That can take all day - really. Alicia and I realized that we can't do this anymore so we started a rule that anything left on the floors at bedtime will be thrown away after the kids go to bed. Two nights ago I did this and a whale toy of Ethan's was thrown away. He found out about it today and wailed in sorrow about the loss of his plastic toy.

I felt bad for him but Alicia and I tried to reexplain to him that we wanted the family to take better care of their things and the house. He didn't seem to get it but I'm hopeful that this will be a good learning experience for him and the rest of the kids. Alicia and I are sticking to this with the hope that it will help.

Putrid Pets

Our animated countertop decoration named Sonic

Emily inherited a fish tank from a friend several weeks ago and despite her parents aversion to pets of any kind, that got her brain spinning about getting a fish of her own. Having a fish is at the bottom of the sinful pets one could have in the home so we allowed it and she got a beta as a birthday gift. Since then, we've had an awful time trying to figure out how to keep the thing going. Reportedly betas are the lowest maintenance fish you can have. You but them in some fresh water, feed them every now and then and boom... instant animated home or office decoration. But unlike other decorations, this one rots after 3-4 days. The water starts to thicken and get foggy and if left for a week, some viscous layer of filth accumulates on the surface of the "water" and the fish food gets clogged up there.

What have we gotten ourselves into?!

We're tried sunlight, darkness, covered tank, uncovered tank, water treatment chemicals, and smaller tanks. Nothing has solved this filth problem. So now, Emily is saving her money to be a new fish tank with a filter to see if that helps. The problem is, she's thinking of going bigger so she can get more fish. Ethan's hopping on the bandwagon too. He'd like to get a fish of his own in the tank.

Before you know it we'll have llamas in the backyard.

Ethan's Reading

We got a note recently from school that informed us that Ethan is being advanced to a more assisted reading program. This came as a shock to Alicia and me. Ethan's been doing so much better in his reading and we thought he was advancing on target but apparently he's falling behind. He's unaware of any feeling of failure in this. All he knows is that he has a new reading teacher and that he'll miss the other lady who helped him. Alicia is also trying to keep a positive attitude. She wrote the following to me in an e-mail.


"Let's not think of it as a bad thing. He is improving but he needs more intensive help. We keep reading with and encouraging him and he'll be alright. We have always known that school wouldn't come naturally to him. He is doing his best. Maybe we as parents need to step it up more."


But still, he's such an awesome kid. It's hard for me to not feel a twinge of sympathy when I consider that he's falling behind.

Our Trailblazer

It's easy to think of growing up milestones like first date, driving, graduation, etc.. But there are some others that are not so conspicuous on the road of life. Emily passed a couple of them today. The first was a presentation today on a county of Utah. She did the presentation of Kane county all by herself (unlike the last one where we helped her a bit). Alicia said she was proud of her for the work she did. The second was a decision she made to stay home alone while the rest of the family came up to Salt Lake to pick me up from work. Emily was comfortable staying home alone, which is a rite of passage in itself, and Alicia was comfortable leaving her there for three hours.

Just like we noticed the little milestones when she was a baby, I suppose we're still conscious of these things the first time we experience them together. In some ways, Em is still our trailblazer and we're proud of the path she's plowing for the rest.

Enduring the Climb

I imagine every day as a mountain that I have to climb. I start the day with good energy - I exercise, get ready, help the kids get ready to school etc. I also have good energy for reflection and learning right at the beginning of the day. I study the scriptures and words of the prophets, pray, then plan out how I can best use the day given to me to further God's work. To polish this reflection time off, I spend a bit of time learning something relevant to the day ahead of me.

So, all of this is preparation for my mountain climb. I've readied my mind, body and I have plotted a course up that mountain. Then I begin. The base of the mountain is usually a pretty great hike. I see great things along the way, I gain altitude and if my planned course needs to correct, I've learned to make flexible course corrections.

Before I know it, the sun is beginning to set. Most days, there is still mountain left to climb - service yet to be given. But I get home and have dinner with the family and my footsteps begin to drag. I start to think more about how tired I am than what I could still do to help. The irony is, the climb is the most rewarding right at the top. And the time I get to spend my my wife and kids is right at the end of the day. That's where views open up and I can be closest to my maker in seeing how far we've come together.

So, I need to find a way to get the good energy of the morning into the evening as well. I'll try again tomorrow.